Between the Lines Serving contradictions with a side of clarity.

The Wedding Planner: Rules, Grudges, and Chicken Tenders

I couldn’t help but wonder: when did weddings stop being about love and start being about control?

On the wedding website, the rules were spelled out neatly: children welcome at the ceremony but not at the reception, plus-ones only if explicitly granted. The reasons? Space, budget, intimacy.

Reasonable enough — until the RSVP menu. Mai Mai. Stuffed chicken breast. Vegetarian plate. And… chicken tenders (kids only). So wait — no kids at the reception, but a kids’ menu on the website for the reception? Somebody call Sherlock, because the mystery is thicker than the gravy.

Here’s where it got personal. I’m a single mom with a five-year-old. My invite was for one. Translation: You can come, but only alone. No child. No guest. No support. Since my son wasn’t allowed at the reception anyway, that meant I couldn’t attend either. Meanwhile, my brother was invited with his wife and ten-year-old daughter.

That’s not policy. That’s politics.

And the cover-up? A text message assuring me I wasn’t the only one impacted, followed by a polite request to “keep it quiet” so the bride didn’t have more stress on her plate. Ah yes, the plate — already full of chicken tenders for the exceptions to the rule.

The truth is, this isn’t just about one wedding. It’s about how families — and people in general — love to write rules they don’t live by. They cling to grudges from 2016 while pretending to make decisions for 2025. They preach fairness while practicing favoritism. And when called out, they hide behind “let’s not stress the bride.”

But what about the guests? What about the single mom expected to cross the country with no child, no plus-one, and no support? What about those told to sacrifice while others are given loopholes and special passes?

Here’s the thing: consistency is love in action. Accountability is respect in action. Consideration is care in action. Without those, rules are just stage directions for a performance no one believes. Weddings don’t have to be perfect, or even traditional. But they should be consistent, and they should be thoughtful. Because people won’t just remember the flowers or the food — they’ll remember how they were treated.

And if the guest list reveals more about old grudges than new beginnings, then maybe it’s time we admit: the chicken tenders were never the problem. The lack of consistency was.

Because when someone tries to seat you at the lonely table, it isn’t proof of their superiority — it’s evidence of their insecurity. People who truly shine don’t need to dim the lights around them.

And no matter how many chicken tenders they serve, they will never be my superior.

Because receipts don’t lie. They just wait to be read — between the lines.